When most people think of domestic abuse, they think of bruises and broken bones. But domestic violence doesn't have to be physical.
Domestic abusers often use emotional and psychological abuse to control and manipulate their partners even in the absence of physical abuse. In some cases, verbally abusive relationships never become physically abusive, but in others, emotional abuse is merely a precursor to physical abuse.
In order to protect themselves from these types of relationships, students need to be aware that put-downs, threats and manipulation constitute domestic abuse.
Relationship abuse or domestic violence is a pattern of controlling behaviors that abusers use against their intimate partners. This abuse can cause injury and even death, but domestic violence also includes sexual, verbal and emotional abuse, as well as economic control over one’s spouse.
Relationship abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. This abuse can also affect all kinds of people of all educational backgrounds and income levels. It can also happen to couples who are married, living together or even couples who are dating.
As many as 53 percent of college students have experienced at least one incident of dating violence. Like domestic abuse, dating violence doesn’t always start with a hit or a slap; it often begins with verbal or emotional abuse.
Maybe your partner checks up on you by calling and texting you constantly. Maybe they are continually asking where you are and who you are with. Maybe they drive too fast to scare you. Your partner may be extremely jealous of anyone you talk to and activities you are involved in which doesn’t involve them.
Verbal and emotional abuse includes so many things. It may include name calling, degrading you or putting you down.
Emotional abuse often includes criticism of your activities and your family and friends in an effort to isolate you. If you find yourself limiting your contact with your family and friends, or if you feel that it would be better to limit some of the activities that you enjoy, then you may be in an abusive relationship.
Victims of domestic violence can have a hard time identifying abuse in their relationship, and the situation could be hard for them to leave. If you know someone that may be in an abusive relationship, there may be things that you can do to help.
Bringing up a delicate subject like abuse can be difficult. Bring it up gently, and don’t force it if your friend doesn’t want to talk about it. Chances are, when he or she is ready and knows they can trust you, they will open up.
It is normal to be afraid for a victim of abuse and you may want to tell them what they should do. There may also be the temptation to solve problems for them. Abuse affects everyone who witnesses it, but the most important thing that you can tell someone in an abusive relationship is that there is help.
A Safe Horizons advocate is available every Wednesday at the Ghering Health Center from 9 to 11 a.m. or other times by appointment. Hotline counseling is also available at anytime. To schedule an on-campus appointment with the counselor/advocate, call Safe Horizons (collect if needed) at 814-438-2675, or call the Ghering Health Center at 814-732-2743.
The Safe Horizons advocate is also available to provide presentations about dating and domestic violence to classes, groups, organizations, sororities, fraternities, athletic team or dorm residents. Contact Shonna Gabbart at 814-438-2675 to schedule a presentation.
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